


à tout le monde

by gladdecease



Category: Glee
Genre: Bullying, Love Epiphany, M/M, Minor Character Death, Pre-Relationship, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-22
Updated: 2011-05-22
Packaged: 2017-10-19 16:50:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/203038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gladdecease/pseuds/gladdecease
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was no logical explanation for this.   He'd known he would feel worse if it was Dave, but he hadn't thought he would feel this much <em>better</em> if it wasn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	à tout le monde

**Author's Note:**

> Off-screen character death, reference to suicide, some language. Spoilers up to "Prom Queen", based on pro-Kurtofsky speculation about "Funeral," but has no actual relation to the episode. Unbeta'd.

The days after Junior Prom had been awkward, to say the least. People avoided looking Kurt in the eye, and even in New Directions conversation was stilted and uncomfortable. Small wonder why - the "overwhelming number" of write-in votes for Kurt as Prom Queen meant that most of their class had decided to humiliate Kurt just for being himself, and denying three New Directions girls the tiara they'd lusted after for weeks in the process.

Still, it hurt.

And at the same time, Kurt knew he had to stay strong. While he might have been a target of ridicule and cruelty from most students, he also thought of himself as a beacon of hope for others like him: gay boys and girls, too afraid of the torment their peers would unleash if they came out of the closet. If he faltered, they would lose any hope that they had of things getting better, of coming out even being a remote possibility.

He had hoped that the one closet case he knew of - Dave Karofsky, the Prom King to his queen - might help him on that front, show their classmates that Kurt wasn't alone. He had been fighting against homophobic bullying for weeks because of Santana's influence, and he'd apologized to Kurt for his own bullying. Kurt had thought... but when the king and queen dance was announced, Dave fled.

Kurt couldn't blame him, not really. Not when he'd nearly ran himself. If Dave had had somebody like Blaine to support him, then maybe -

But Kurt hadn't even _seen_ him this week, red Bully Whips beret or no. He had to admit, it was slightly worrying.

"I just can't believe it."

He knew that voice; that was Coach Sylvester. And she sounded sincerely upset. This required investigation. Kurt backed up against the wall by the open doorway.

"I know."

And that was Coach Beiste, choking back tears. What on earth...?

"A student dead. And right after that cruel joke at prom, too." A single, depressed tsk. "This is truly awful."

Principal Figgins? And - wait, did he say someone was _dead_?

"Did they say how it happened?"

"I'm told he left a note."

Kurt lifted a hand to his mouth to muffle a gasp. Oh, Gaga, _no_. He listened with growing horror as the conversation continued.

"I don't know how I'm going to tell the team. They'll be inconsolable."

"They deserve it."

"Sue!"

"It's their own damn fault! The way your precious football players treated anyone who even _looked_ at them the wrong way, and what they did at prom... I'm not surprised somebody thought it was too much and gave up."

" _Sue!_ "

"I'm only surprised it was somebody on the team."

"Sue, that's enough!"

Tears stinging at the corners of his eyes, Kurt ran off, the echoes of Figgins' reprimand following him down the hall. The idea that someone would kill himself because watching _Kurt_ be humiliated was too awful, it was too terrible - but he had a terrible, awful suspicion that he knew who it was.

It was just a suspicion. Just a guess. He didn't know for sure.

...but the facts fit, and that thought terrified him.

He needed to know the truth. If it wasn't Dave, then he needed to find out who, and find the words to force these people to see what they'd done, show them that they'd gone too far. And if it was -

Kurt swallowed past a sudden lump in his throat.

If it was, he'd do the same thing. But he would feel worse. And that made sense. He'd kno - damn it, he _knew_ Dave. He'd known Dave was in pain, and had tried to help. And if this was Dave, that meant he'd failed him. It was awful to know that there was someone he hadn't helped, but it would be worse to know that he'd tried to help and it hadn't done a thing.

But he didn't know for sure. He reminded himself of that, and the lump in his throat eased. Rounding a corner, he tried to remember where Jacob Ben Israel would be skulking this time of day. If there was anybody in this school who knew things before the teachers, it was him. He was probably -

Kurt's train of thought was cut off when he collided with a large figure in red.

"Kurt?"

It was Dave.

" _Dave_." His eyebrows shot up at the quiver in Kurt's voice, and that expression was so oddly comforting, reassuring. _He's here,_ it said. _He's alright._ Something twisted in his chest, and Kurt couldn't help but press a hand against it. _He's here, he's fine, it's okay now._ Kurt let out a shaky sigh of relief as he looked up at his former tormenter. "Thank Gaga you're alright."

"I just had a stomach virus," Dave said, sounding confused. He frowned, noticing the shiny trails the tears had left on Kurt's face. "You okay?"

"Fine," Kurt said, wiping at his face absentmindedly. The places where tears had fallen felt cold and clammy against his hand, but his face felt like it was on fire. How odd. "I'm fine. I thought _you_ \- but you aren't."

Dave's eyebrows narrowed. "Kurt," he said softly, more confusion and a touch of concern to his voice. He reached out, stopping short of touching Kurt's cheek, letting his hand hover there for a moment.

Kurt's hands were shaking.

He floundered for an explanation. Well... well, of course they were shaking. It was adrenaline. He'd been panicking, worrying himself sick, and now the relief was kicking in. All that nervous energy had to go somewhere. His hands shook a little more as he watched, thinking about how very incredibly glad he was that Dave -

But even if Dave hadn't, somebody else _had_. Mood jumping from one extreme to the other, Kurt felt almost nauseous with shame. He'd known he would feel worse if it was Dave, but he hadn't thought he would feel this much better if it wasn't.

It made no sense. There was no logical reason he should have felt that happy. Somebody had _died_. Someone had _killed himself_ because of the bullying. _That_ was what mattered, Kurt told himself, not that it wasn't Dave.

And that was true.

That _did_ matter, that would _always_ matter most, more than anything, but his pounding heart and trembling hands, his flushed skin and tear-sore eyes, all of that was saying that, right now, something else was coming in a very close second. And that something was standing right in front of him, watching him with wary eyes and wanting nothing more than to make things better, to fix whatever had made Kurt cry.

"Oh," Kurt said numbly, hands falling to his sides. He stared up at Dave and said it again, whisper-soft. And, really, what else could he say, what else could he even _think_ , but: Oh, oh, _oh_.

How hadn't he seen this coming?

"Kurt," Dave repeated, worried. "What did you think happened?"

Kurt opened his mouth to speak, not knowing what would come out - the answer to Dave's question, or another truth entirely - when the PA system crackled into life over their heads. They both glanced up reflexively.

"Students." Principal Figgins' voice echoed tinnily. "Please report to the gymnasium for an emergency assembly."

Kurt swallowed past the newly-returned lump in his throat. "Well," he said with a calmness he didn't feel. "I guess you'll find out."


End file.
